And what a Friday it is!
In sunny, hot, humid, smelly, heat filled, satanfire (spelling?) Perth, Western Australia, there isn't really a whole lot to do. Actually, rather, there isn't a whole lot you WANT to do.
The best thing you can do for yourself right now is to go and find somewhere that has 1: An Air Conditioner, 2: A watery place, or 3: A large walk in freezer.
You insane clubbers can get hot on the dancefloor, but the rest of us will laugh at your poor shrivelled body lying there all seized up from heat exhaustion. If you choose to club it up, keep hydrated, and I don't mean hydrated with UDL's (do they still do those? it's been a while since my drinks were determined by my wage and social status).
Here are a few options for your coming Friday:
Dinner and a Movie (Maccas and Deadpool)
Deadpool is out, and while I have shamefully not been to see it yet, all 15 year olds are saying: "It's Dope!"
While I have suffered through Marvel pretty much chewing the character up and spitting him out in the comics for the last few years, everyone who has ever fell in love with the character, for however short amount of time KNOWS that Ryan Reynolds is the man for the job, and the money it's raking in makes me feel really happy for Tim Miller, Ryan Reynolds, and yes I'm even happy for Rob Liefeld. So take your partner out for some tasty Macdonalds, and then go see Deadpool.
Other Films out at the minute include 2oolander (which I personally thought was fucking hilarious), Sisters (also very very funny), The Hateful Eight (Tarantinos best film since Jackie Brown) and of course - Star Wars. Just go see Star Wars again, too many times is not enough times.
Porky's BBQ in Northbridge:
Do you like BBQ?
Do you like Meat?
Do you like American style BBQ Meat?
Fucking go to Porky's this Friday, buy yourself some various assorted meats and get the meatsweats. The quality is above par for Perth BBQ, and the vibe is pretty laid back and chillaxed, so don't go in and expect foie gras, these guys would probably just slap you silly with a rack of ribs. Seriously though, Meat.
MOVIE NIGHT!!!
Well if you don't have work the next day, how about getting a bunch of fellows around for a few thematically similar films? Here are a few suggestions:
Movie night Suggestion ONE:
Alien, Galaxy of Terror, Forbidden World.
Three brilliant films, each subsequent film declining in quality and originality. Kicking off with Alien in all its terrifying glory, middling with Galaxy of Terror which plays on the idea of exploring a derelict structure full of nasty shit (you can also see where James Cameron got his idea for Aliens in some respects) and finishing with Forbidden World, which is basically a drawn out version of the last ten minutes of Alien. Your friends will most certainly be asking you why you even bothered with the last two, as they were both done better in one film.
Movie Night Suggestion TWO:
Raw Force, Empire of The Ants.
Just the two films in this one. Mainly because it will either evoke hours of discussion afterwards or cause your friends to leave your house and never darken your doorstep again.
Let me try and explain Raw Force...
A bunch of buggers on a boat (including a couple of guys from the local Karate club) all embark on a cruise skippered by Cameron Mitchell, which is bound for an old island. On this island (unbeknownst to the cruisers) dwell a tribe of cannibal monks who eat sexy women and resurrect ninja zombies. The tribe currently have a good thing going with a couple of petty crooks where they trade jade rocks from the island for the sexy women for the cannibals to eat/sacrifice.
The cruise ship sinks and everyone has to fight for their life.
Why put this in a double with Empire of the Ants? Its basically the same film, but instead of cannibal monks, its giant ants. It has a bunch of people with questionable morals and talents and pits them together against a practically unimaginable foe. In both films you have the same kinds of characters. Watch it and see!
Movie Night Suggestion THREE:
Red Dawn, Point Break, Roadhouse.
A Patrick Swayze triple dipple fun time.
TOO OFTEN do I hear people talking about "Oh Patrick Swayze? fuckin Dirty Dancing and shit, fuckin hate chick flicks."
Well, this triple feature is the perfect way to fuck those idiots in the ass. Not just three great Swayze films, just THREE FLAT OUT SUPERB OUTSTANDING ACTION FILMS.
Just three fucking awesome movies. And in each one of them, Swayze beats the living shit out of someone. It's also a great chance to get those guys who don't get the Family Guy Roadhouse reference on board with life in general. My life didn't fully kick into gear until I saw Roadhouse.
One another note, for all you closet homosexuals parading around as manly men who refuse to watch chick flicks because you are too terrified to admit to enjoying them because you are fighting an internal battle about your sexual identity, well I will have you know that Dirty Dancing and Ghost are both amazing films in their own right and deserve much more than what you give to it. So fuck you.
Sigh. Anyway, there's a couple of ideas for your Friday night. Enjoy it, and the weekend that follows it. And remember:
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